Wednesday, Nov. 03, 2004 - 2:47 p.m.

And the winner is... Alien!

The Empire has retained its ein fuhrer. Yeah, he probably stole the election again, but there are so many Bush supporters out there, I'm not sure he even needed to use all the electronic voting machines, invalidated registrations, and voter intimidation.

For an understanding of today's events, check out the prescient (or no-brainer) The George Bush Show Episode #7

And for a good laugh and/or cry, be sure to watch the other episodes:

Episode #1
Episode #2
Episode #3
Episode #4
Episode #5
Episode #6

Here's the lost opportunity: a change in administrations would have been a slight interruption in the forward march of the Empire as the leaders switched, and there might have been a change in corporate cronyism (the no-bid contracts might have gone to the corporations Kerry is tied with instead of to Halliburton.) But there is an upside:

• Most people think Bush is an idiot. [Edit: I mean most people with half a clue.]
  
• The Bush administration's lies and crimes are being increasingly exposed. His approval rating has gone down, he's discredited throughout the world, thus the Empire is a wee bit more impeded than it would have been under intelligent, diplomatic Kerry. Bush even has dissenters in his own party and whistleblowers in his own staff.
  
• Bush's brazenness lays bare the Empire's aggression and brutality in its true ugliness. Bush makes people aware of the violence inherent in the system.
  
• Bush gets people riled up to take action to stop him.
  
• Now, instead of drifting off into a political coma, people will keep distrusting the government, and will keep their guard up.
  
• Better to have a dangerous tyrant in the White House who people hate and fear than a dangerous tyrant in the White House who people love and admire. Given a choice between the iron fist and the iron fist in the velvet glove, with the iron fist at least it's clear what you're getting hit with.
  

In a grand stroke of irony, I, who have gone on TV to urge viewers not to vote, wound up, in my job as a telephone surveyor, conducting the N*ational E*lection E*xit P*oll, which in Oregon was done over the phone because Oregon votes only by mail-in paper ballots. We had completed our quota of 900 respondents midway through November 1st, so I don't understand why Oregon didn't turn blue until late in the night. Were they waiting for the actual ballots to be counted? If so, why did they bother doing the poll?

Even if you're not a radical at all, even if you're just a Democrat or an olde fashioned conservative, the only way you're ever going to be able to get what you want is through a revolution of some kind. It could be a nonviolent revolution, like how people ended the reign of Pinochet or the Soviet Union, but I hope that today's events got through to at least a few numbskulls that working through the system is worse than futile. The election is an opportunity for dissenters to "tire themselves out", the same way strategic-thinking parents know their toddler's temper tantrum will inevitably bring on drowsiness. Allow me to gloat as say, "I told you so" to all the well-meaning deluded suckers who busted their butts to register voters and campaign for Kerry. YOU WASTED YOUR TIME AND ENERGY. YOU NOW HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT. DON'T YOU WISH NOW THAT YOU HAD BEEN DOING SOMETHING ELSE? ANYTHING ELSE?
Your so-called candidate smiled through his concession speech and urged the country to put aside the bitter divisions of the election.

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