Tuesday, Jun. 08, 2004 - 11:30 p.m.

We don't serve your kind.

So this place is the only, or one of the only, 24-hour restaurants in the city, but they close their dining room at 10 pm, and only serve via the drive-thru [sic].

I biked up to the backlit menu.

"Sorry, we can't serve you unless you're in a car," stated the disembodied voice.

"Why is that? Are cars better?" I asked.

"We can't serve you if you're not in a car," repeated the emotionless voice.

"What's your opinion on that?" I queried.

Silence.

"Do you have an opinion on that?" I probed.

More silence.

Summoning up some impromptu NVC, I revealed, "Well, I'm really disappointed, cause I like riding my bike, and I wanted to buy something."

Yet more silence.

"Oh, well," I muttered and departed.

I was really pissed off. The Green Anarchy thing to do, as seen in their recent article, "Feral Fury Unleashed: Reconnecting with Our Wild Selves Through Violent Conflict With Our Oppressors", would be to smash up the menu. But that wasn't what I really wanted. I wanted a chicken sandwich. And underneath my anger, I was feeling hurt, and needing acceptance, consideration, fairness, equality. And if I couldn't get that, I at least wanted to understand the reasoning behind their policy. I mean, the Taco Bell in the Whiteaker willingly serves pedestrians through their drive-up window, so why not Jack-In-The-Box? Is it a fear of robbery? I don't see how a car makes them any safer, except that they could get the license plate number of the getaway car, but bikes don't have license plates. And baring an explanation, I would at least liked to have connected with the woman talking into the microphone. A wisecrack, an expression of frustration, anything human.

Of course, I didn't figure all that out until I was halfway home. I briefly considered going back and doing some model honest expression into the microphone. But I was undermotivated, and it would have been too pointless.

I'm still stunned that they give preferential treatment to machines that pollute and bring us closer to Thermageddon. They ought to be penalized instead. Oh, well, I shouldn't be giving money to evil corporations anyway.

So now I'm one dollar richer than I would have been, and to paraphrase Ani Difranco, "I'm the one dollar that you never made."

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